A girl’s guide to breaking up with the toxic BFF

We’ve all got that friend, right? You know the one I’m talking about. The selfish one. The one that does what she wants without caring what it does to others? She’s toxic. And you know it. So how do you know if it’s time to break up? We all want to have our friends by our side until the day we die, right? But sometimes, we just grow up and our friends don’t want to. And that’s okay….

But when that friend depletes you of your happiness, takes away your energy and no longer has any regard for your feelings, it’s time to say goodbye. I’ve sat down and cried as I wrote a breaking up letter to my BFF. We’ve been through so much. But then I realized I was more of a pacifier for her when her decisions caught up to her. I couldn’t baby her anymore. After years of excusing and pushing my own family to the side to help her when she needed it, I realized she was never there for me in any similar ways. She’d ignore my calls and texts, and only call me when things got bad again. I tried to find out what was wrong and why this was happening, but the truth is that we just grew apart. She didn’t want to grow up.

Maybe you have the same friend and you’re questioning how to move on with your life without hurting that “sister from another mister”, and I can tell you that if you’re in the same boat I was, it won’t hurt her as much as you think because (here comes the truth…) She already doesn’t care. So here’s some tips on how to get moving along solo.

 Photo credit: @rekitanicoledesigns

-Forgive her. I think this was the hardest part for me, but it was a crucial step in me getting over her. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse anyone of their behavior, no matter how wrong. But it does set you free from harboring any anger that you may not realize you have. Sure, you’ll still cry and wonder what happened, but in all honesty, you’ll feel much better once you can tell yourself, “I forgive her for hurting me.”

-STOP calling and texting. For the love of all that is holy, you have to stop chasing after that friend that doesn’t want to be with you. It hurts. A LOT. But in order to move on, you need to delete those text messages and get on with it.

– STOP answering her calls and texts. This was also hard for me to do because I’m a natural pushover. Anytime she calls, it’s for help. Which I am ALL for helping someone when they need it, but one thing I am not is an enabler. And being used does nothing but hurt you. So ignore the calls and delete the texts. If it’s an emergency, she’ll let you know and you can decide what you want to do then.

– Get out. Find a hobby, meet some new friends, move on! I promise she’s not the only person in the world that is going to  understand you. Besides, if she REALLY understood you, would you honestly be reading this right now? I didn’t think so.

Life goes on, friendships dissipate. It’s a part of life. A real crappy one, alright. But those scars will heal and you will be okay. Do something for yourself and make YOURSELF happy for once. Don’t you deserve it?