It’s not easy getting deep down and personal sometimes. Especially when it comes to taboo subjects like depression. It’s raw, and it hurts, but it’s 100% real.
Did you know that over 3 MILLION women in our country suffer from postpartum depression? I sure as heck didn’t. And I fought it for 4 YEARS trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Maybe that’s where you are right now. Trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, too? Maybe you need some kind of inclination that everything will be okay (I promise you, it will be. This doesn’t last forever). Or maybe you want to know what’s up and how to prevent it from even happening (awareness is key). The truth is, you’re here and you’re reading this. So if you need someone to reach out to, I’m your girl.
It was 2010 when I had our first child. He was the best infant anyone could have ever asked for and he made life so much better. My husband was in the Air Force and wasn’t home for his arrival. He actually didn’t get to meet his son for the first 3 months and it was a rather difficult time. We were both young, 18 years old, newly married, had NO idea how the world worked. And no one ever mentioned depression. It wasn’t talked about here. So when Michael got home that summer and we made our move to North Carolina, that’s when the trouble started.
I began arguments that made no sense to anyone. I had been away from my husband for over 6 months and we were moving for the first time in our lives to a place that was almost 1,0000 miles away from ALL of our family and friends, I was bound to have a meltdown, right? That meltdown lasted for 4 years. Sure, I suspected depression once. I remember the day I brought it up to Mike, sitting on our bed in tears. He never wanted to be around me and I had no idea how to explain that ominous cloud that lurked my every move. I even went to the doctor, got a trial pack of some medicine. But even then, no one mentioned the hormonal imbalances that occur in women after we have kids.
Those hormones we get during pregnancy, the ones that cause the beautiful glow, mood swings and everything else we get to blame pregnancy on? Yeah, those don’t just go away once the baby is handed to you in the hospital. It takes TWO YEARS for those bad boys to settle back down and get back in the normal routine. No wonder we all think we’re crazy! Most people don’t know this and it’s such an uncomfortable topic to talk about. So the medicine I was prescribed wasn’t to treat hormonal problems, just normal depression. I didn’t understand, and no one took the time to talk about it with me. I didn’t even think to research this kind of stuff on the internet.
Now, we are fortunate enough to have awareness and lovely blogs (such as this one) that helps give information to those who need it. Doctors are very persistent on asking these questions before and after you have a baby.
You see, postpartum depression isn’t just walking around moping and crying for hours on end (It definitely can be though), but it’s also those moments when you just don’t know what’s wrong. It’s smiling one minute and just being blank the next. Sometimes, it’s the weeks of having food in the fridge but not being able to make up your mind what to eat, so you just go without. Or completely binge eating everything in sight (HELLO extra 25 pounds). It’s the moments of locking yourself in the room so the kids don’t ask what’s wrong, because you honestly have no idea and they don’t need to be bothered with this anyways. It’s putting on that fake smile when going over to friends’ houses, but not being able to fully enjoy being there with them.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. So get that out of your head.
You are beautiful. You are smart. You are good enough. And you will be okay.
These are the words I wanted to hear when I was struggling. I had no idea who I was. And I want you to hear them, too. Because these words are true. We all want to have that Facebook or Pinterest perfect family, and I promise you already have it. If you are struggling with postpartum depression, take the steps to HEAL yourself. It’s time to focus on YOU so you can be better for your family. (Happy Mom = Happy family, am I right?)
As far as preventing depression, it’s not necessarily done. Some say that (be prepared for this) consuming the placenta after birth can help regulate hormones after delivery. But everyone has their limits. This may not even be considered an option for many. You can take preventative measures and recognize the signs (moodiness, loss of appetite, unable to think clearly), and start working on these tips to prevent any forming depression to worsen. Don’t think you’re going crazy. If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck….you know the saying.
First off, do not put off going to talk to a doctor or therapist. Some people need assistance with medicine, and that’s okay. If you’ve got a good doctor, they’ll be extremely supportive and will let you cry in their arms (I did, no shame). They will be able to identify what’s causing you to suffer by talking with you, and some may even run some blood tests to check for any other causes. You will feel so much better once you do this.
Take care of yourself. We’ve all heard this but it is SO critical to help getting those hormones back to working. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Working out is always a hit. But there are other options out there. Go for a walk, take a class you’ve always wanted to, learn a new hobby. Go shopping (though be careful not to turn this into an addiction), and my favorite- GO GET A NEW ‘DO! Seriously. There’s nothing better than having a new hairstyle to go with a new attitude!
Don’t give up on yourself. It won’t always be sunshine and rainbows. There will be bad days, and it’s okay to hit a rough patch. But believe in yourself that you are healing. Find someone to talk to when you feel like breaking down. I have two- a friend and my sister that I go to so I don’t unload everything on my husband. And if you need someone, send me an email and I’ll be there. Reach out and be the best you that you can be.
Much love. ♥
Sweet Tea Kisses 